


Seeing the Good in the Bad

by TearfulShadows



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:03:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearfulShadows/pseuds/TearfulShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bunch of Law and Order fics.  Let me know what you want to see.  Just suggest a pairing or a few words for the plot and I will write it.  I will do anything within reason.  I will also continue anything if it is asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Comforting Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This first one is Rafael/Olivia. He is really torn up about a recent case he tried and Olivia offers comfort.

Rafael Barba was understandably not happy.  He had just prosecuted his old friend Alex Muñoz for possession of child pornography and indecent exposure.  The man had been sexting for God’s sake! He, Rafael Barba, had managed to single-handedly ruin his old friend’s political career and the guilt was eating away at his insides.

As a man who prided himself in prosecuting the guilty individuals to the full extent of the law, he knew that he should be happy that he had put away another pedophile but he just couldn’t work up that euphoria.  What he really needed was to drown his sorrows in some bar before passing into oblivion in his condo for the rest of the night.

But he was stuck in his office, finishing up the paperwork from the Muñoz case and preparing his files for the cases he had to try the next day.  He sighed as he looked at the work still piled in front of him; it just never stopped!

There was a knock at the door and he looked up, frowning.  Who would be coming to his office at…12:45 in the morning?

“Come in.” Rafael said, his curiosity overwhelming everything else as he waited to see who would walk in his office.

“Really now Barba, you invite me in without asking me to identify myself.  What if I was some crazy murderer looking for a chance to off you in retaliation for you convicting one of their family members? You’d be dead now, or fatally injured at the least.” The sultry voice of Detective Olivia Benson greeted him as she walked in and closed the door softly behind her.

She looked tired.  There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was sticking up a bit from her habit of running her fingers through it when she got frustrated.  Her clothes were slightly rumpled from sitting at her desk for an extended period of time but despite all this, Rafael still thought that she was beautiful.

He had thought her beautiful from the moment he had been introduced to her and that thought had only grown as he started working with her.  He respected her quiet strength and fiery determination to help every victim and ensure that even those who could not speak for themselves were heard.  She had been through a lot of trials throughout her career as an SVU Detective but she was still soldiering on.

However, he kept his feelings to himself.  He had seen the way Cassidy had looked at her whenever he was in the precinct and he knew that he didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of her returning his feelings so he admired from a distance.

“If you had come to murder me, I doubt you would have knocked.” He pointed out dryly as a bit of color rose on her cheeks.

“Well stranger things have been known to happen.” Olivia muttered with a small pout that Rafael found utterly adorable.

 _“Down boy!”_ he thought to himself.  He would not allow his thoughts to travel in that direction.

“So what brings you here at this time of night, Detective?” Rafael asked.

“I just finished my paperwork and thought that you could use a pick-me-up after today so I came here to see if you wanted to go get a drink with me.” Olivia said with a somewhat nervous smile.

“How did you know that I would be here?” Rafael asked, slightly suspicious.  Had she been stalking him?

Olivia smiled a genuine smile and laughed lightly.  “You seem to have inherited the habit from the other ADA’s we’ve had.  Everyone that has inhabited this office always stayed late in their office whenever something big happened.”

Rafael found his lips quirking slightly in response to Olivia’s amusement.  It was impossible not to smile when Olivia laughed; she just had that kind of personality.

“So, about that drink?” Olivia asked, her smile becoming nervous again.

“I don’t know, Detective.  I still have a lot of paperwork to get done before tomorrow, or I guess that would be later today.” Rafael said with a sheepish look at the clock.

“I can help you.  I know a thing or two about doing an ADA’s paperwork.” Olivia offered brightly.  “With two people working on it, it’ll be done in no time.”

Rafael was hesitant to accept her offer, not because he didn’t appreciate it but because he really needed to review those cases himself so he was familiar with the material for the trials.

Olivia must have seen the hesitation cross his face because she said, “Relax Barba.  I’ve done this before.  I know that you need to review the cases and I can help with that.  Let me help you.” She walked closer to him and held out a hand.

With a sigh, Rafael handed over some of the files.  As if he could deny her anything.  She sat down on the other side of his desk, pulled out a notepad, and opened the file on top.  The two worked in companionable silence until, at last, all the files had been completed and Rafael’s desk was clear.

“See that wasn’t so bad! And it only took two hours!” Olivia said with a glance at the clock that now read 2:45 in the morning.

“Thanks for all the help, Detective.” Rafael said, looking at his own decent sized stack of files then to the stack that was at least double his on her side.  “How did you manage to get all of those done?” he asked incredulously.

Olivia laughed at his shock.  “I told you that I’ve done this before.” She grabbed the file on top of her stack and showed him the topmost page.  “I took notes on all the important things and anything I thought might help you in the trial.  Now you don’t have to go through the whole file.”

“Wow…you’re amazing, Detective!” Rafael exclaimed, feeling his respect for her grow.

“It’s Olivia.” She said with a pleased smile and a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Only if you call me Rafael.” He returned with a smile of his own.

Olivia nodded.  “Now why don’t we go have a drink? I know this great bar.”

“I’m not really in the mood for loud music and stale cigarette smoke.” Rafael said.  He really wanted to spend some more time with Olivia but he could feel his guilt crushing him. 

“Then come over to my place.  I know you’re upset about the Muñoz case and I want to help.” Olivia said with an earnest smile.

“Why? Why do you want to help me so much? We aren’t even that close! What do you know about what I’m going through!” Rafael exploded, his temper getting the better of him.

Olivia’s smile dropped and a haunted look came over her face.  “We’ve all been there, Rafael.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched my friends get shot and known that it was my fault that they got hurt.  So don’t tell me I don’t know what you’re going through!”

Olivia started to walk away but Rafael quickly walked around his desk and grabbed her hand.  “Olivia, wait. I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to snap at you.  It’s just…”

“I know.” Olivia whispered.  “It’s alright.  Just let me help you.”

Rafael turned their hands so that he was gently holding her delicate hand in his own larger one and slowly nodded.


	2. My Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is for DecemberBeauty96. I was going to only do Olivia-centric pairings but I actually had a lot of fun writing this so I will do anything requested. Thanks DecemberBeauty96! XD
> 
> This is a little Fin/Melinda Warner. When a case hits her hard, she reveals a bit of her hidden past and Fin is there to comfort her.

Fin found her standing in the morgue staring down at the body of an infant girl.  She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh, a crystalline tear slipping down her cheek and catching the harsh fluorescent light.

“Melinda?” Fin asked hesitantly, having never seen the strong ME in such a state before.

Melinda startled and her eyes flew open.  She carefully took in Fin’s presence and slowly wiped the tear from her face with the back of her hand.  She looked back down at the infant’s body and heaved another sigh.  Wheeling the drawer back into the huge freezer so the body wouldn’t decay, Melinda started walking back to the desk in the other corner of the morgue.

She stopped when she reached one of the lab tables in the center.  Trailing a finger almost thoughtfully along the glinting tabletop, she seemed to be lost in recollections of the past.

“Melinda?” Fin tried again, stepping to the other side of the lab table and worriedly observing her face.

“Her name was Catalina…my little Lina.” Melinda whispered after a few minutes of contemplative silence.

“You had a baby?” Fin asked, immediately regretting it as another tear fell from Melinda’s closed eyes.

“She was gorgeous.  Turns out that her father was a relative of one of the people SVU had caught.  He was looking for revenge because his cousin had been killed in prison.” Melinda admitted in a surprisingly calm voice.  To the experienced listener, however, there was a small tremor in her voice.  “He broke into my home while I was here working another case.  When I got home that night, my baby girl was in pieces all over the house with “You’re next, bitch” written in her blood on the wall.”

Melinda broke down in tears, silently sobbing as the memories washed over her like a tidal wave.  Fin strode around the table and wrapped his arms around her trembling figure.  She turned around and hugged him to her tightly, pressing her face into the side of his neck.  He whispered soft words of comfort to her and lightly stroked her hair.

“I’m so sorry, Mel. I didn’t know.” Fin said, unintentionally letting her nickname fall from his lips.  Now he understood why this case had affected her more than the others.  Then a thought struck him.  Olivia had been really upset about this case too; Fin had thought it was because she had been turned down by another adoption agency but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Olivia knows, doesn’t she?” Fin asked with a small hint of an accusation in his voice.

Melinda nodded slightly.  “Yeah.  She was the only one I went to when it happened.  She hunted the guy down relentlessly for two days before she found him.  He was dead before she could call it in…overdosed on drugs.” Melinda said with a forced airiness in her tone.

So Olivia had killed this guy.  Fin wasn’t surprised because he knew how protective Olivia was when it came to her family, and like it or not, SVU was Olivia’s family.

“How did nobody know of this?” Fin asked, incredulous that everything was kept a secret.

“When I was in my last month, I took a vacation because I was too big and couldn’t hide it anymore.  My old assistant took care of the cases we got but it was a slow time so I wasn’t too worried.  As for the guy, Olivia just left him there.  I was living with Olivia for a while and she told me about him when she came back.” Melinda explained with a tearful smile, glad that she had a friend like Olivia.

“Where the hell was I at?” Fin asked.  He didn’t remember anything like this happening.

“You were undercover.” Melinda said, slowly loosening her grip on Fin.  “You didn’t come back until two weeks after and by then I was back to work.”

Fin was angry; not at her but at himself.  How could he not know about this? This was Melinda…not some random woman.  He should have known.

“I should have been here for you.” He said.  Sensing she was about to protest, he continued, “No Melinda. I should have been here.  They could have called the op off and I would have been with you in a heartbeat.  You shouldn’t have had to go through it alone.”

She placed a finger against his mouth, stopping any further words from escaping.  “Fin.” She whispered, fresh tears leaking from her eyes. “I wasn’t alone.  Olivia helped me and made sure that I didn’t drown in grief.  She reminded me that I had something, no _someone_ , to live for…you.” Melinda said, a heartbreaking sadness present in her eyes.

Fin held her tightly and reminded himself to have a talk with Olivia.  He needed to tell her how grateful he was to her for taking care of Melinda when he wasn’t able to.

“I didn’t want anyone to know.  I couldn’t bear the thought that my little girl was gone but I was terrified that I would be killed.  If I hadn’t been threatened, I never would have told anyone.” Melinda admitted softly.

Fin felt his heart stop for a moment before it started beating twice as fast as before.  Her soft words had sent a lance of pain through his body.  He couldn’t imagine living without her and it had almost come to that.  To think that if some lowlife scumbag hadn’t threatened her life, she would have died.

“Does the Captain know?” Fin asked, trying to distract himself from the dark thoughts that had taken up residence in his mind.  It seemed like he had a lot more to thank Olivia for than he first thought.

“No.  Olivia was the only one I ever told.  You and Olivia are the only ones that know about this.” Melinda said, immediately recoiling from the thought of telling anyone else what had happened to her baby girl.

Fin nodded and the two fell into a comfortable silence.  He continued to hold her tightly while she breathed in the peace that he was offering.  Both soon became absorbed in their thoughts and before they knew it, an hour had passed.

“You’ll never be alone again, Mel.  I swear to you that I will protect you no matter what.  No one will ever be able to hurt you again.” Fin promised, sounding unnaturally loud in the stillness of the morgue.

“Now let’s go home.” He said quietly.

She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and pulled away from him.  The two slowly left the morgue hand in hand, feeling lighter than they ever had before.


	3. Comforting Touch 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is for GreenPhoenix. It is a continuation of Comforting Touch. Rafael and Olivia get a little closer ;)

Olivia unlocked her apartment and motioned for Rafael to come in.  He hesitated in the doorway and Olivia, rolling her eyes, grabbed his hand and dragged him into her apartment.

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet next to the oven.  She turned around and poured some in two glasses.

“That’s a fire hazard, you know.” Rafael spoke sardonically from behind her.  Olivia turned back around to see Rafael with his head in her alcohol cabinet.

“That was the only empty cabinet I had left.” Olivia said with a shrug.  “The oven doesn’t really get used very often anyway.  I don’t ever have time to cook.”

Rafael took the whiskey bottle from her, raising a brow in the process, and returned it to its place in the cabinet. Smiling, he took the offered glass from Olivia and followed her into the living room.

“Sorry about the mess. I wasn’t really expecting company.” Olivia said with a sheepish grin.

“Your apartment is lovely, Olivia.” Rafael assured her, smiling easily.

Olivia blushed.  “Thanks Rafael.” She said with a brilliant smile.

The pair sat down next to each other on the couch and descended into a thoughtful silence.  After a few moments, Rafael decided to voice what was bothering him.

“How do you do it?”

“Pardon?” Olivia asked in confusion.

“How do you deal with this every day? The rape, the murder of children.  How can you handle dealing with New York’s scumbags without going insane?” Rafael burst out, desperately wanting to understand why she did what she did.

Olivia’s smile dropped and her face took on a sad quality.  “My mother was raped and I was born from that rape.  My mother became a drunk.  She hated me and everything that I reminded her of.  I grew up knowing that I was unwanted.” Olivia admitted softly.

“Olivia, I’m so sorry.  I…I didn’t know.” Rafael stammered, feeling horrible for dredging up painful memories.

“I didn’t expect you to. That isn’t something that I like telling people.” Olivia said, trying to assuage his guilt.

“Did your mother abuse you?” Rafael asked softly, already regretting asking.

Olivia was silent and that was all the confirmation Rafael needed.  “Olivia…” he whispered softly.

“My mother hated me and she made sure that I knew it.” Olivia said.  “She would get drunk and hit me with whatever she could get her hands on since I was 3.  Most of the time it was shard of broken alcohol bottles.  When I was 14, she held me down and beat me.” Olivia’s doe eyes glimmered with unshed tears.  “She brutalized me that day…reenacting her rape at the hands of my father.”

Rafael was horrified.  Olivia had probably never told anyone about this; instead she had probably kept it all bottled inside of herself and let it fester.

Olivia was not done, however.  “She raped me whenever she was drunk enough to go into a rage.  She used to be an English professor and when I was older, I fell in love with one of her students.  We were going to get married.  My mother found out and she flew into a rage and attacked me with a broken bottle.”

Rafael pulled Olivia to him and held her tightly as she sobbed in his chest.  “I don’t want people to go through what I had to.  That’s why I do what I do.”

“Oh Olivia…” Rafael breathed.  He lightly stroked a hand up and down her back and rested his head on top of hers, breathing in her scent and offering comfort.  He could not believe that someone as strong as Olivia had gone through that.  And then everything that had happened to her during her career has an SVU Detective! Rafael had heard rumors about things that happened to Olivia Benson and his respect and admiration for her had never been higher.

“That’s why you care so much.” Rafael murmured.  “Because you’ve been there.  You know what it’s like. You’re always so strong for the victims, taking their pain on your shoulders. It’s truly admirable.”

“But I’m not.” Olivia said angrily, drawing back to look in his eyes.  “I allowed my own mother to abuse me. I’m not strong; I’m weak.”

“You’re anything but weak, Olivia.” Rafael said firmly. “That was your mother.  A mother is supposed to love and cherish their children, not abuse them.  Being abused does not make you weak.  It makes you strong since you survived it and you face it every day to help other victims get passed it.”

Olivia didn’t believe him.  She should have been strong enough to stand up to her own mother.  Then Rafael said the one thing that she had been wanting to hear her whole life.

“It wasn’t your fault, Livi.”

She stared at him with wide, tear-filled eyes before suddenly surging forward and hugging him tightly.  “Thank you, Rafael.  No one has ever said that to me before.”

“It’s okay, Olivia.  Everyone should have told you that.  Don’t ever think that you are to blame for what your mother did.” Rafael said determinedly.

Olivia smiled slightly and buried her face in his neck, content to sit in his embrace for awhile longer.  They descended into silence but Olivia broke it as a thought occurred to her.

“Livi?” She asked in amusement.  She pulled back enough to see the flush creep up his cheeks and the embarrassment flood his eyes. 

“Sorry. It just kind of slipped out.” Rafael said with a sheepish smile.

“I like it,” Olivia said with a huge grin.  It was something that only he had ever called her and it made her feel warm.  “You are the only one who can call me that though.”

Rafael smiled a genuine smile.  He liked that he was the only one who could use that nickname.  “I’m calling you Rafi now though.” He heard her say and his smile widened.

He kissed the top of her head.  “I think I can live with that.  But you’re the only one that gets to call me that.” He said, purposely echoing her words.  She smiled a happy grin of her own, making her whole face light up.

She looked up and stared into his eyes, getting lost in his deep, hazelnut eyes.  He stared back, equally absorbed in her mocha colored eyes.  They both leaned forward ever so slowly, their foreheads brushing.

Her eyes fluttered shut as they drew closer together.  When their lips were centimeters apart, Olivia sharply drew back and stood up from the couch.

“We can’t do this.” She said, before quickly running into her bedroom and shutting the door behind her.


	4. Comforting Touch 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of Comforting Touch as requested by pipsthief

Rafael sat on Olivia’s couch, dazed.  His mind refused to wrap around what had almost happened between him and Olivia.  They had almost kissed…that was entirely unprofessional!

They were coworkers for God’s sake! They could both lose their job if that moment was allowed to continue.  Olivia was a dedicated detective of the NYPD and it would kill her if she lost her job.

 _“And besides, she’s going to think that we are only together out of pity because of what she just told me.”_ Rafael thought to himself.

But was he really feeling pity for Olivia? Was he feeling sorry for her? Is that where those feelings were coming from?

Rafael shook his head in an attempt to clear his head.  He needed to focus and sort out his feelings before he confronted Olivia; and confront her he would.

Rafael remembered the quiet determination that Olivia had shown in the very first case that they had worked together.  Her single-minded dedication to catching the perp and getting justice for the victim was simply astounding.

He remembered her nod of acknowledgment as he won the case and looked to her for approval.  He remembered the glowing feeling he got in his chest when he gained her recognition.

Olivia had been there for him throughout the Muñoz case and her kindness when she came to his office at 12:45 in the morning.  She had helped him catch up on his work so that they could spend some time with each other.

The notes that she had written for the files she had looked over had even helped him win his cases.  She had written the notes with such detail and precision that if he hadn’t have known better, he would have thought that they had been written by an experienced lawyer.

Rafael thought about all the things that he admired about Olivia; her drive, her kindness, the compassion she had when dealing with victims, her kickass attitude when she was interrogating perps.

One of his coworkers had told him a story one time of when Olivia used a perp’s shoe fetish against him.  She wore a pair of high heeled black leather boots into interrogation and slammed her foot on the top of the chair next to the man.

It was this kind of fond memory that finally caused Rafael to snap out of his daze.  A smile bloomed across his face.  He may not completely understand these feelings but he knew enough about them to know that he didn’t want them to go away.

Rafael stood up from the couch with a determined look on his face.  He would not allow Olivia to hide from this; from him.  He walked to her bedroom door and knocked softly, leaning against the door to press the side of his face against the polished wood.

“Livi?” Rafael called softly, smiling happily at the nickname.

“Go away.” Olivia said firmly.

“Olivia, I’m not going to go away.  We need to talk about this.” Rafael said resolutely. 

Rafael sighed as there was no answer from the other side of the door.  _“I’ll just have to do this here then.”_ He thought to himself with another sigh.

“Olivia, if you won’t open the door then at least hear me out.” Rafael started.  “I know you and I don’t know each other that well but I want to at least try.  I’ve admired you since the first moment I met you.  You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.  Just please open the door.”

There was silence and Rafael began to feel the first seeds of defeat sow itself into his mind.  He stood up straight and got ready to turn around when he saw the door slowly creak open to reveal Olivia’s uncertain face.

“Rafael…do you really mean that?” Olivia asked quietly, furiously squashing the hope that was trying to kindle in her chest.

“I meant every word.” Rafael promised.

“But we’re co-workers…” Olivia protested.

“It’ll be alright, Livi.  I won’t take any cases that you work so that way we won’t have any conflicts of interest.  If you don’t want to disclose then we will just keep it a secret until you’re ready.” Rafael assured her with a small smile.

Olivia allowed a small smile to appear on her face as she considered the possibilities being with Rafael offered.  He wanted to get to know her…and that almost kiss! Olivia could still feel the electricity zinging through her body.  A thought then occurred to Olivia that had the smile dropping from her face.

“You’re just saying that because you pity me.” She accused.

“I could never pity you, Olivia.  You don’t deserve pity; you deserve happiness and love.  I admire your courage and fire.  You’re so strong all the time…you deserve someone who will be strong for you in your weakest moments, who will hold you when you cry, who will keep the nightmares at bay.  I want to be that guy, Olivia, if you would let me.” Rafael said strongly, taking a step forward and gently laying a hand on Olivia’s cheek.

He stared in her eyes and was surprised to see tears glimmering in her eyes.  “Olivia…you’re crying…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Rafael apologized quickly.  He was shocked when she laughed and took a step closer to him, wrapping him in a strong hug.

“Thanks Rafi.  You have no idea how much that meant to me.  I’ve never had someone say something like that to me…not even my old partner, Elliot.” Olivia said with a somewhat broken tone in her voice at the end.

“You loved him.” Rafael stated.

“I thought that I did.  He was my everything; the one thing that kept me sane in the midst of the darkness I work with everyday.  I remember I told him once that he was the longest relationship I’d ever had with a man.” Olivia remembered with a half laugh.  “He left me without a word after over 12 years of partnership.”

“I’m not Elliot, Livi.” Rafael said, suddenly understanding what had her upset.  “I won’t leave you, I promise.  You’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me.”

Olivia smiled a large smile and stepped back from Rafael, still in his arms but able to see his face.  “I’d like to give this a try.” She admitted, making an answering smile bloom across Rafael’s face.

“We’ll take this as slow as you like, Livi.  We don’t need to rush anything.” Rafael said, making some of the tension drain out of Olivia’s shoulders.

“It’s really late now so why don’t we go out tomorrow and we can start getting to know each other?” Rafael suggested and Olivia nodded after looking at the clock and noticing that it said 4 in the morning.

“Sure.  Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. I don’t have to work unless I get called in so we can have brunch.” Olivia suggested.

Rafael let Olivia go and the two separated.  “Good night Rafael.”

“Good night Olivia.”

Rafael felt one last thought filter through his head as he left Olivia’s apartment and headed back to his condo to get some sleep before their brunch.

_“I’m glad that I transferred to Manhattan.”_


	5. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is Alex's whole world now as she becomes the victim instead of the prosecutor. This was requested by Connie Lewis and Lilly Potter.

Pain…that’s all I knew.  Greasy, searing pain rolled through my body, pounding relentlessly like a jackhammer to my most sensitive areas.

A man was firing into me.  Pulsing and rough, he ripped me apart from the inside out.  I’ve never wished more desperately to die.  My body was on fire, burning my nerves black.

Oh God…he has a knife.  My breathing quickened, making the room spin dangerously.  The knife was huge…it had to be at least 7 inches of gleaming silver.  My mind reeled with the possibilities of just what he was going to do with that knife.  Cut me? Rape me with it? Slit my throat? Amputate a limb? My stomach roiled with the thought.

He removed himself from me.  I know he what the knife was for.  He stuck it inside me, twisting it and rapidly pulling it in and out.  Pain even worse than before slammed my body making me writhe in an attempt to dislodge the knife only to drive it in deeper.

He laughed a dark, insane sound that sent chills down my spine.  He called me pathetic and pulled the knife all the way out.  He drove it back in to the hilt and I screamed around my panties that had been shoved in my mouth.  Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t hold it in any longer and screamed long and hard, desperately wishing that someone would hear me and save me.

He chuckled once more and pulled the knife out again.  He laid it against my right side and carved something there.  I was too far gone to decipher what it was.  Darkness crept into the edges of my vision.

As I fought back the black, I remembered how this happened.

**_Earlier that day…_ **

_“It’s alright Alex.  You did everything that you could.  Sometimes things just don’t work out.” Olivia reassured with a sad smile._

_There was a big case whose trial had just finished.  The jury came back with a not guilty verdict.  A man was accused of viciously raping his 5 year old daughter.  He raped and sodomized her for fourteen hours before leaving her for dead in an abandoned warehouse._

_“I should have had this one, Liv.  The evidence was concrete and his alibi looked like Swiss cheese!” Alex exclaimed, disappointment clear in her voice._

_“Alex it’s not your fault. Maybe if I would have pushed him harder then he would have confessed and then you would have won your case.” Olivia said self-deprecatingly._

_“Liv it isn’t your fault either.  I should have interrogated him harder on the stand.  He almost cracked but anymore and I was going to get censured.” Alex fired back._

_Olivia sighed.  “I say it’s not your fault and you say it’s not my fault.  Why don’t we just agree that it’s neither of our faults?”_

_After a moment of thought, Alex nodded.  It was time to focus on the next case.  She failed this victim; she won’t fail the next._

_“The squad is going out for a drink.  Do you want to come with? It would do you some good to forget about things for awhile.” Olivia offered._

_The prospect sounded good…great even but Alex would not let herself go anywhere with friends right then.  She lost the case…she didn’t feel like she deserved to hang out with her friends._

_“I can’t, Liv.  I need to go back to the office and prepare for my next case.  Rain check?” Alex asked hopefully._

_“Sure Alex.  I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Olivia said, briefly wrapping her arms around Alex before walking off to head back to the precinct before they all went to get drinks._

_Alex sighed and drove back to her office.  She hadn’t lied when she said that she needed to prepare for her next case.  She had a case going to trial in two days and she needed to get her notes straight before the trial.  She sat down and opened the file with a sigh, trying not to think about the little girl’s face when the not guilty came back._

_A few hours later, she closed the last file and sat back in her chair.  She put her hands over her eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.  Strengthening her resolve, she got up and grabbed her keys.  Looking at the clock, she saw that it was 10:53 P.M.  She wanted nothing more than to relax in her apartment and get some sleep._

_She drove to her apartment and unlocked her door.  Shutting the door behind her, she walked into her living room and set her coat and purse down.  She went into the kitchen and set the kettle on the stove to boil some water for tea.  On her way back into her living room, she felt an arm wrap around her waist, the other arm wrapping tightly around her neck.  The arms pushed her back against a firm body and a cloth was pushed up against her face.  Her panicking mind recognized chloroform as darkness began to descend._

_The last thing she heard before she passed out was a deep, raspy voice saying, “We’re going to have a lot of fun, sweetheart.”_

**_Present time…_ **

I felt him get off of me and my pain-riddled body sagged slightly in relief.  I heard him say something but I couldn’t make out what it was; just the baritone rumble of his voice and he left me, tied up, gagged, and broken.

I gathered the last bit of my strength and broke my left wrist to get out of my bonds.  My right arm was soon released and I hunched down to release my legs.  I fell off the bed and crawled to my phone.  I dialed the number that I had long since memorized.

Darkness crept steadily across my vision as the phone rang; once…twice…three times.  I silently begged her to pick up the phone.  At the beginning of the fourth ring, she answered.

“Hello?” her voice answered, sounding half-asleep.  She probably hadn’t looked at the caller I.D. before answering so she had no reason to be alarmed.

“L-Liv?”


	6. My Horror Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia gets kidnapped by Lewis. This is the account that they didn't want to show on televisions asked for by Nick.

“Olivia…” Lewis’ seductive voice whispered in her ear. 

Olivia groaned and her head lolled to the other side.  She didn’t remember what had happened.  The last thing she remembered was walking into her apartment.

“Olivia…” his voice whispered again, sending her into an unpleasant crash with reality.

“Lewis.” Olivia spat, turning her head back to the side to face Lewis.  She refused to let him have the back of any of her.  “What are you doing here?”

“Why Olivia,” Lewis started in a honey-sweet voice.  “You’re smarter than that.  You made a fool of me and I don’t like that.  You need to learn your place.”

Olivia fought a shudder of revulsion and plastered a sneer on her face.  “I didn’t do anything that you couldn’t have done yourself.”

Lewis growled and whipped her across the face with her gun.  Olivia’s head whipped to the side and a trickle of blood came from her mouth.  Lewis took a few deep breaths and smiled.

“Nice try Olivia.  I have to commend you for making me lose my cool but you won’t get much more than that.  You see, I have a plan for you.  I’m going to do so many things to you and by the time I’m done with you, you won’t even remember your own name…just the fear of me.”

Olivia spat on his face and Lewis wiped it off with a finger, sticking it in his mouth afterwards.  “Oh Olivia, your defiance is admirable but look at you; you’re so tense.  I think we should have a drink to loosen you up.”

Lewis grabbed a bottle of whiskey and forced Olivia’s mouth open.  He poured about a half the bottle into her mouth and held his hand over her nose and mouth so she was forced to swallow it all.  Olivia coughed and sputtered as the alcohol burned down her throat.  She breathed shallowly as her head swam and the room started to spin.

“There now…that’s better.  Look how relaxed you’ve become.” Lewis said with a small smile.  “Now I think it’s time for you to take a nap.  Wouldn’t want you to get your fight back before we have a chance to have fun.”

Lewis knocked her out with the pistol and Olivia fell into the darkness of oblivion.  He forced a few sleeping pills down her throat so that she would not wake up anytime soon.

Lewis smiled crazily and looked over Olivia.  He took in her toned body and flowing chestnut hair and decided he would start a little early.  He took off her clothes and stopped to admire her in all her glory.  She truly was a beautiful woman.

Lewis put the gun down on the table and shed his clothes quickly.  He had to be quick so it would be done before she woke up.  He picked her up and drove into her, feeling upset that she was unconscious and couldn’t scream.  With the lack of preparation, he just knew that she would have screamed deliciously.

He grinned widely and moaned at the tight heat.  Olivia was unbelievable! He pistoned into her with all his strength and grunted at the effort.  Sweat beaded on his brow and he came with a growl.  He fixed their clothes and inserted the cap from the whiskey bottle into her to prevent any of his semen from coming out.

He downed the rest of the whiskey and wrapped Olivia in a blanket so none of her body was visible.  He carried her out to his car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Taking a deep breath, he felt arousal shudder through him.  He had kidnapped and raped Olivia Benson!

He tamped down a shiver of excitement and took out his phone.  Calling his ‘girlfriend’, he forced a sweet tone in his voice.  There was only one thing that he wanted from her right now and he would get it.

She picked up on the second ring and, after a short conversation, Lewis grinned widely as she gave him directions to her parents’ house.  He cut the connection and pulled the car out of Olivia’s drive.

On the way to Long Island, he glanced back at the trunk on occasion.  His arousal grew larger and larger with each glance.  He finally pulled into the drive and killed the engine.  He walked briskly into the house and knocked out the two people asleep inside; he had plans for them.

He went back out to the car and popped the trunk.  Grabbing Olivia, he carried her into the house.  He stripped her and tied her with her legs spread wide into a chair.  He stripped the woman and tied her to a chair facing both the bed and Olivia.  Lewis stripped the man then tied him spread eagle to the bedposts.

Dumping cold water on the two females, he watched in amusement as they sputtered and their nipples grew hard from the cold.  He watched as the typical fear flashed in the older woman’s eyes and defiant disgust come to life in Olivia’s.

“What are you doing, Lewis?” Olivia spat hoarsely.  Lewis walked over to her and forced her mouth open, once again pouring alcohol down her throat, uncaring that a lot of it ran down her body and pooled between her legs.

“I’m going to have fun…and you’re going to watch.” Lewis said with a crazy grin.  He pulled out a knife and sliced it through the air, listening to the whistle it made.

He walked over to the bed and dumped cold water on the male.  It wouldn’t be nearly as fun if he wasn’t awake to feel everything.  The man woke with a gasp and looked around in confusion.  That confusion quickly turned to anger as he realized that he was tightly bound, but then to fear when he saw the state of his wife and the knife that Lewis held.

Lewis smirked and stood at the end of the bed, between the man’s spread legs.  He grasped the knife tightly and plunged it into the man.  He screamed as the knife brutally violated him, tearing him up from the inside out.  The woman had tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes as she listened to her husband’s agonized screams.

Lewis thrust the knife in a few times and twisted it viciously inside him.  As the man’s screams reached a crescendo, Lewis left the room and went into the kitchen.  He grabbed a hanger from the coat closet in the hallway and bent it until it resembled a potato masher.  He lit the stove and stuck the bent hanger into the flames.  Once it got hot, he turned it around and put the straight end in the fire.

A few minutes later, he returned to the bedroom with the white hot rod in his hand. The man raised hazy, panicked eyes to Lewis then immediately latched on to the hanger.  Lewis walked forward and teasingly ran the hanger across the man’s chest.  He hissed and the rotting smell of burnt flesh filled the room, making Olivia and the woman wretch.

“Are you watching, Olivia? If you don’t watch, I’ll cut out the woman’s tongue and make her eat it.” Lewis promised.  Olivia’s eyes immediately snapped open and she forced herself to look at the man.  Lewis grabbed the other end of the hanger and shoved it down the slit in the man’s shaft.  The man screamed and passed out as the pain finally became too much to bear.

Lewis shifted the hanger up and down a few times before pulling it out quickly and slamming it back in to the hilt.  Even in unconsciousness, the man’s brow furrowed in pain as the hot wire burst from his shaft, causing blood to spurt all over Lewis.

Lewis took a moment to watch the man as his life dwindled away and the body became still.

“Well, we’re having fun aren’t we?” The blood-spattered Lewis grinned maniacally.


End file.
